Community Green: Mothering
By Pamela Noel
Special to Plumas News
As Mother’s Day approaches, images of moms sitting in bed, a breakfast tray brought to them, small gifts of flowers and candy come to mind. Or maybe the celebration takes the form of an evening barbeque with family giving her a wonderful dose of appreciation. These scenarios are what my brother and I attempted when we were young. We were mildly successful with the execution of the event; and our mother was extremely thoughtful in her acceptance of our Mother’s Day gestures.
But as I sit here this morning, watching the sun start to announce itself on the eastern side of American Valley, I am reflecting on what mothering really encompasses. It is so much more than actually being a mother or having given birth to another human. Mothering lies in all of us. A form of love, male or female, parents or not, we are all capable of mothering.
Mothering encompasses an energy, a capacity for caring for the needs of another. And this caring certainly takes different forms, depending upon the relationship one has for this person. And mothering can be tricky. Like any form of emotional giving, it can span a continuum—from a rather laissez faire, carefree approach in that relationship to outright “smothering”.
Mothering my children, for me, has been the most frustrating, yet the most rewarding aspect of relationship I have experienced. Sometimes, it is cuddly and sweet. At other times it has taken the form of “tough love”, a strength I didn’t know I possessed, in order to attempt to correct a behavioral trajectory that seemed to be going terribly wrong, or to be available for a major hurt in their young lives.
To my friends, being available with an open heart seems to be the type of mothering that is usually needed. And a gentle reminder that a friend has everything they already need within, is typically the advice that is true. Being there, when life seems glorious or not so, is what is important. Believing in a friend’s ability to walk their own path—that they are exactly where they need to be at this moment—is a gift we can give to another.
A caring for the humanity we may not know personally, is often difficult for me to address. It is easy to take in the woes and suffering that exist on the planet, often feeling helpless or incapable of assisting in any concrete fashion. And yes, there are certainly ways to contribute—but perhaps the greatest contribution is to take care of what is in our own back yard or community, whether that is volunteering or supporting an effort that feels meaningful.
And everyone can share in the mothering energy of the greatest mother of all—our Earth. In order to accomplish this we need only to look inside ourselves to determine our own impact on this Mother. We need to ask ourselves the difficult questions about how our particular lifestyle can be shifted to lessen the negative impacts we impose on Her. We know what to do. This is where the “tough love” that we may have shared with our children or friends, can be applied to ourselves…where the power of will meets the power of intention — love for our planet — and all the children who will need mothering in the future.
Beautiful post and agree 100%! Happy Mothers Day to all whether you are honoring a mom past or present or loving on someone who needs it along with Mother Earth!