Letter to the Editor: About self confidence

From Psychology Today, March 2021, the following description of self-confidence:

“When children feel confident, they are more likely to have academic and personal success.”

“As they mature and develop, they are more inclined to act independently, learn to effectively problem solve, resist peer pressure, and act directly from their fundamental core values.”

“In addition, they feel worthy, capable, and maintain more meaningful relationships. They are more likely to be resilient, have a growth mindset, motivate themselves to take on new challenges, and cope with and learn from mistakes.”

“They also have more of a tendency to take responsibility for their actions, assert themselves, and ask for help when they need it.”

Can you think of a parent of any race or ethnicity who would not want their child to be self-confident?

Contrast this positive view of childhood development to the current mindset of interpersonal victimhood.

According to Scientific American, June 2020, interpersonal victimhood sufferers share the following characteristics:

“an ongoing feeling that the self is a victim,…”

“…believe that one’s life is entirely under the control of forces outside one’s self, such as fate, luck or the mercy of other people.”

“are less willing to forgive others…and more likely to behave in a revengeful manner.”

“are anxiously attached individuals…dependent on the approval and continual validation of others.”

The result, according to the article, is that when people follow fall into the victimhood mindset, “…social change struggles…are more likely to take an aggressive, disparaging, and condescending form.”

The author poses the question that “if socialization processes can instill in individuals a victimhood mindset, then surely the very same processes can instill in people a personal growth mindset.”

He continues: “What if we all learned at a young age that our traumas don’t have to define us? That it’s possible to have experienced a trauma and for victimhood to not form the core of our identity?”

“What if we all learned that it’s possible to have healthy pride for an in-group without having out-group hate?”

The reality is that, “We are all human with the same underlying needs to belong, to be seen, to be heard and to matter.”

He says that an important step in accepting that reality “…is to shed the perpetual victimhood mindset for something more productive, constructive, hopeful and amenable to building positive relationships with others.”

In addition to developing self-confidence we want our children to be happy.

Happiness has been described by psychology researcher Sonja Lyubomirsky as:

“…the experience of joy, contentment, or positive well-being, combined with a sense that one’s life is good, meaningful, and worthwhile.”

Self-confidence is a key ingredient to achieving a happy life.

Which brings us to Critical Race Theory (CRT), an intrinsically evil ideology that teaches people that they are either victims or oppressors.

Their roles are defined by other people and by conditions over which neither victim nor oppressor has control.

CRT destroys self-confidence and promotes hatred of oneself and of others.

I challenge anyone to describe how Critical Race Theory contributes to either self-confidence or happiness.

As we face the ravages of CRT on our children today, we should remember the words of Booker T. Washington:

“There is a certain class of race-problem solvers who do not want the patient to get well, because as long as the disease holds out they have not only an easy means of making a living, but also an easy medium through which to make themselves prominent before the public.”

Lynn Desjardin

Portola