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What the biggest question in life is

The United States is living in an era where half the people hate our president and the other half hate the half that hate the president and black lives matter and cops’ lives matter and we all want to save the whales, but abortion is okay.

We know for a fact that the State of California is very well defended because any invaders would immediately be taxed to ruin by Governor Choo-Choo Brown who is determined to bankrupt the state (again) by diverting every penny he can lay his hands on to a train that starts nowhere and goes nowhere. If the thing ever gets finished the fare will be in the neighborhood of half a million dollars round trip.

On the international set, we have a crazy guy with a crazy doo trying to scare the world for no other reason than he can. North Korea citizens can be proud that their country gets so much global attention, but they would probably like it more if they were getting fed regular.

And we have ISIS, the Middle East terror organization that is merely concerned with killing as many people as they can, preferably by beheading. Russians and their intrepid leader have now embarked on a campaign to see how close their military aircraft can get to the U.S. without causing an international incident. This is kind of strange because we all know that Russian leader Putin loves small children and minorities — at least he says he does.

On the home front, a local reporter has suspended his literary attack on ground squirrels and bears mainly because he somehow got old and the population of these pests has been momentarily diminished. Stormy Rittger’s place was recently the site of bruin carnage when an old, large bear woke from hibernation and decided to indulge in a chicken dinner.

Unfortunately for him, he had to break into the chicken coop to satisfy his craving. On the third night of his slide into chicken gluttony, he was met with the fatal round from a large caliber rifle and thus entered into his last hibernation. The old boar went over 400 lbs.

With all of these momentous events and worries, I had to sit and think about the most important question in my life: Kibble or canned food?

Many pet owners believe that providing canned food to their pet is critical to convince the animal of its worth. Not so, say the experts. Most dry pet food today provides Fluffy or Fido with all the nutrients they need and dogs will eat anything anyway. My Squeak prefers kibble. If presented with wet food, she will lick the gravy and perhaps take a bite, then she is done.

But we all know that an expert will say anything if paid well enough. I like to keep my worries simple, since I can’t do anything about Korean nut cases or empire lusting Russians anyway.

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